January 2024
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An Iron Lodge Challenge
Your personal battle strategy for 2024 I want you to commit to trying something different this year. 1st read this blog. :o) Then consider participating in the challenge. The challenge is not just picking another “goal” or “resolution” this year. This challenge is going to go deeper and ask that you pick a habit (a battle) that you want to change or develop. From diet to exercise, saving money to quitting smoking, how often do people start something big knowing what to do, and having a deep desire to do it, only to fall short. Not even getting close to their goal. Inevitably falling back on their old habits? We all have habits: sleeping habits, eating habits, driving habits and a thousand other habits that make up your behaviors that define your day-to-day activities. We have all seen people fail to adjust their bad habits despite being armed with education, desire, and a plan. Why? Because change is hard! |
Let's first define what a habit is. Charles Duhigg in his book The Power of Habit defines a habit as a choice that was once deliberate and conscious that has now turned into something we do automatically without even thinking. So, habits represent the easy decisions we make doing life’s most common things. From what we do when we first get up (e.g., check the phone, make the bed, take a shower) to what we do right before we go to bed (e.g., watch TV, take a shower, brush your teeth) It’s our default setting. But forming good habits is anything but easy. At first doing something you want to make a habit takes a significant amount of effort and concentration. It’s only after many repetitions have accumulated of doing the thing you want to make a habit and the novelty has dissipated that you’re able to perform the act with mindless ease.
At this point I am reminded of a saying I learned when I was studying for an oral board for a promotion. The instructor said, “do not say ‘I lead by example’, because EVERYONE ‘leads by example’ instead say ‘I lead by setting a good example’.” The reason I say that is because a habit is nothing more than a decision, a decision to set a “Good” example, if for no one else other than yourself. When you get home and decide NOT to do something productive, a decision is being made. If not kept in check these bad decisions eventually turn into bad habits. Bad habits can emerge that serve our immediate desires more than our best interest. There is no devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The brain just does what it is designed to do. It suggests solutions that tend to be safe, easy, and immediately gratifying. Why cook when I can order a pizza? If we obey this inner voice often enough a memory of this decision is constructed, automated, and moved into our unconscious for safekeeping...
A habit is born.
It has been said that once a habit (A TRUE Habit) is born it is no longer under the scrutiny of the conscious mind. It stays buried operating in blissful ignorance until the day we decided to dig it up, crack it open, and tinker. Once a habit has been entrenched in our mind it is remarkably difficult to change. Some would argue that we cannot change what has been ingrained; instead, we are simply trying to convince the brain to give some preferred habit “a promotion”. As challenging as it might be to introduce new habits or paint over old ones it is not impossible. All we need is to understand what makes these automated decisions tick.
According to James Clear and Charles Duhigg (2 experts on the formation of habits) there are 4 phases to habit formation.
The 1st phase is the CUE. Before a decision can be made something needs to be either in our mind or in the physical environment. In principle the job of the CUE is to trigger the 2nd phase, the CRAVING.
The 2nd phase “CRAVING" is the “motivational force behind every habit”. This is the habits “why”, its purpose, its reasoning for existing. The craving is what drives us to take the actions necessary to satisfy it. The craving needs to be a strong enough motivational stimulus for the 3rd phase, the RESPONSE.
The 3rd phase “RESPONSE” is simply acting out the habit. Once the response has been acted out the 4th and final stage is the REWARD.
The 4th phase “REWARD” as you probably guessed is what satisfies the craving. If the reward is strong enough the craving is recharged, ready to be cued the next time.
James Clear said in his book Atomic Habits: “If a behavior is insufficient in any of these four stages, it will not become a habit. Eliminate the cue and the habit will never start. Reduce the craving and you won't experience enough motivation to act. Make the behavior (Response) difficult and you won't be able to do it. And if the reward fails to satisfy your desire, then you’ll have no reason to do it again in the future. Without the first three steps, a behavior will not occur, without all four, a behavior will not be repeated. (p129) These 4 phases are in order of the way they affect your behavior.
What I would like you to do is DEVELOP a GAME-PLAN. But instead of starting with Phase 1 (The cue) and working through to Phase 4 (The reward) I would like you to start the way most people start, with thinking of what you want to accomplish and then I want you to pick a small habit that will get you closer to that accomplishment.
A war is not won overnight. It is won by winning more battles than you lose. I want you to pick a small battle (habit) that, once beaten, will get you closer to your ultimate goal.
The first thing you need to do is determine what you would like to accomplish. Most of us already know what that is. We also have heard all of this before and have never succeeded because it’s “all just too much.” I understand. But bear with me a little longer. Once you have decided the ULTIMATE Goal, I then want you to forget about it. I only want you to think about your ultimate goal as a direction. Think of it as a destination. But just like any final destination, you will never get there if you don’t first start by walking to your car, driving down the road, getting on the on-ramp towards the airport, you get my point. Once you know your destination forget about it. It’s not important NOW. What’s important now is to determine a small step (your new habit) that will get you closer to that ultimate accomplishment. You should also determine what you will get out of doing your habit? You will need to get something out of it (on a regular basis) or it will NEVER progress from something you “have to do” to something you “just do.”
The last 2 things you will need are:
1. Have a clear-cut reason as to why you picked this habit and
2. You will need something that reminds you to do the habit on a regular basis.
Like James Clear said ALL 4 of these phases will be needed to develop your new habit. I will give you an example.
Let's say you want to lose weight. First and foremost, ask yourself why is this your ultimate goal? Let’s say you need to lose weight for health reasons. This would be your Craving (Phase 2). What will be the Response (Phase 3) to this craving? (This is going to be the new habit) REMEMBER it should not be so hard that it is a chore to do, but should be enough to bring about some sort of change (eventually). Let’s say your response that you have decided on is not eating after 8 pm. Not eating after 8 pm is much easier to stick with than starting out with something like “eating 1 salad a day”. There is less prep work involved and it does not cost anything. You can always add new habits later but start with something that will work and can be easily implemented. Remember we are going to win the war with crushing little victories along the way.
Now we need to work on the Cue (Phase 1). Remember a cue is anything that will remind you that this is something you need to do on a regular basis. A person can have just one cue (a posted note on their dashboard next to a photo of their kids reminding them not to smoke) or a person can have multiple cues. The key is to link the cue to the habit. Not to the ultimate goal. Often time’s cues are difficult to determine because the ultimate goal is focused on over the habit. Instead of focusing on “I need to lose weight, I need to lose weight” focus on “I don’t eat after 8pm, I DO NOT eat after 8pm.” For this, you could have an alarm on your phone that plays Weird Al’s cover of Michal Jackson’s “I’m bad” at 8pm. At that point you will be reminded that you are done eating.
The 4th and final phase, the Reward, may seem like the easiest, but I think it is the hardest. How do you properly reward yourself to satisfy the craving? If the reward is not strong enough the craving will not be recharged and your subconscious will lose interest. I think the problem (again) lies in the ultimate destination versus baby steps to get there. It is hard to see progress when you’re looking at the big picture. Knowing as many of the benefits (no matter how slight) of your new habit will go a long way to recognizing the reward when they happen. A reward for not eating after 8pm could be recognizing that you are waking up refreshed and realizing that you were able to sleep so much better through the night. Instead of waiting until you are done digesting your last meal. Maybe Breakfast tastes better. You might actually eat breakfast instead of skipping it. The extra calories in the morning might give you more energy at work. All these things could and should be looked at as a constant reminder that your new habit is working. Eventually you might change your Cue from Weird Al to a simple chime, and then to nothing at all. You will just not eat after 8pm.
It is impossible to say when a habit becomes an unconscious behavior or something we do with little effort, but rest assured that if the habit was properly implemented you will be well on your way to another victorious “baby-step battle” and one step closer to winning the war.
At this point I am reminded of a saying I learned when I was studying for an oral board for a promotion. The instructor said, “do not say ‘I lead by example’, because EVERYONE ‘leads by example’ instead say ‘I lead by setting a good example’.” The reason I say that is because a habit is nothing more than a decision, a decision to set a “Good” example, if for no one else other than yourself. When you get home and decide NOT to do something productive, a decision is being made. If not kept in check these bad decisions eventually turn into bad habits. Bad habits can emerge that serve our immediate desires more than our best interest. There is no devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The brain just does what it is designed to do. It suggests solutions that tend to be safe, easy, and immediately gratifying. Why cook when I can order a pizza? If we obey this inner voice often enough a memory of this decision is constructed, automated, and moved into our unconscious for safekeeping...
A habit is born.
It has been said that once a habit (A TRUE Habit) is born it is no longer under the scrutiny of the conscious mind. It stays buried operating in blissful ignorance until the day we decided to dig it up, crack it open, and tinker. Once a habit has been entrenched in our mind it is remarkably difficult to change. Some would argue that we cannot change what has been ingrained; instead, we are simply trying to convince the brain to give some preferred habit “a promotion”. As challenging as it might be to introduce new habits or paint over old ones it is not impossible. All we need is to understand what makes these automated decisions tick.
According to James Clear and Charles Duhigg (2 experts on the formation of habits) there are 4 phases to habit formation.
The 1st phase is the CUE. Before a decision can be made something needs to be either in our mind or in the physical environment. In principle the job of the CUE is to trigger the 2nd phase, the CRAVING.
The 2nd phase “CRAVING" is the “motivational force behind every habit”. This is the habits “why”, its purpose, its reasoning for existing. The craving is what drives us to take the actions necessary to satisfy it. The craving needs to be a strong enough motivational stimulus for the 3rd phase, the RESPONSE.
The 3rd phase “RESPONSE” is simply acting out the habit. Once the response has been acted out the 4th and final stage is the REWARD.
The 4th phase “REWARD” as you probably guessed is what satisfies the craving. If the reward is strong enough the craving is recharged, ready to be cued the next time.
James Clear said in his book Atomic Habits: “If a behavior is insufficient in any of these four stages, it will not become a habit. Eliminate the cue and the habit will never start. Reduce the craving and you won't experience enough motivation to act. Make the behavior (Response) difficult and you won't be able to do it. And if the reward fails to satisfy your desire, then you’ll have no reason to do it again in the future. Without the first three steps, a behavior will not occur, without all four, a behavior will not be repeated. (p129) These 4 phases are in order of the way they affect your behavior.
What I would like you to do is DEVELOP a GAME-PLAN. But instead of starting with Phase 1 (The cue) and working through to Phase 4 (The reward) I would like you to start the way most people start, with thinking of what you want to accomplish and then I want you to pick a small habit that will get you closer to that accomplishment.
A war is not won overnight. It is won by winning more battles than you lose. I want you to pick a small battle (habit) that, once beaten, will get you closer to your ultimate goal.
The first thing you need to do is determine what you would like to accomplish. Most of us already know what that is. We also have heard all of this before and have never succeeded because it’s “all just too much.” I understand. But bear with me a little longer. Once you have decided the ULTIMATE Goal, I then want you to forget about it. I only want you to think about your ultimate goal as a direction. Think of it as a destination. But just like any final destination, you will never get there if you don’t first start by walking to your car, driving down the road, getting on the on-ramp towards the airport, you get my point. Once you know your destination forget about it. It’s not important NOW. What’s important now is to determine a small step (your new habit) that will get you closer to that ultimate accomplishment. You should also determine what you will get out of doing your habit? You will need to get something out of it (on a regular basis) or it will NEVER progress from something you “have to do” to something you “just do.”
The last 2 things you will need are:
1. Have a clear-cut reason as to why you picked this habit and
2. You will need something that reminds you to do the habit on a regular basis.
Like James Clear said ALL 4 of these phases will be needed to develop your new habit. I will give you an example.
Let's say you want to lose weight. First and foremost, ask yourself why is this your ultimate goal? Let’s say you need to lose weight for health reasons. This would be your Craving (Phase 2). What will be the Response (Phase 3) to this craving? (This is going to be the new habit) REMEMBER it should not be so hard that it is a chore to do, but should be enough to bring about some sort of change (eventually). Let’s say your response that you have decided on is not eating after 8 pm. Not eating after 8 pm is much easier to stick with than starting out with something like “eating 1 salad a day”. There is less prep work involved and it does not cost anything. You can always add new habits later but start with something that will work and can be easily implemented. Remember we are going to win the war with crushing little victories along the way.
Now we need to work on the Cue (Phase 1). Remember a cue is anything that will remind you that this is something you need to do on a regular basis. A person can have just one cue (a posted note on their dashboard next to a photo of their kids reminding them not to smoke) or a person can have multiple cues. The key is to link the cue to the habit. Not to the ultimate goal. Often time’s cues are difficult to determine because the ultimate goal is focused on over the habit. Instead of focusing on “I need to lose weight, I need to lose weight” focus on “I don’t eat after 8pm, I DO NOT eat after 8pm.” For this, you could have an alarm on your phone that plays Weird Al’s cover of Michal Jackson’s “I’m bad” at 8pm. At that point you will be reminded that you are done eating.
The 4th and final phase, the Reward, may seem like the easiest, but I think it is the hardest. How do you properly reward yourself to satisfy the craving? If the reward is not strong enough the craving will not be recharged and your subconscious will lose interest. I think the problem (again) lies in the ultimate destination versus baby steps to get there. It is hard to see progress when you’re looking at the big picture. Knowing as many of the benefits (no matter how slight) of your new habit will go a long way to recognizing the reward when they happen. A reward for not eating after 8pm could be recognizing that you are waking up refreshed and realizing that you were able to sleep so much better through the night. Instead of waiting until you are done digesting your last meal. Maybe Breakfast tastes better. You might actually eat breakfast instead of skipping it. The extra calories in the morning might give you more energy at work. All these things could and should be looked at as a constant reminder that your new habit is working. Eventually you might change your Cue from Weird Al to a simple chime, and then to nothing at all. You will just not eat after 8pm.
It is impossible to say when a habit becomes an unconscious behavior or something we do with little effort, but rest assured that if the habit was properly implemented you will be well on your way to another victorious “baby-step battle” and one step closer to winning the war.